From your correspondent, Monroeville, PA. We are getting unconfirmed reports…

of sporadic and unprovoked outbreaks of violence centering around Monroeville, PA. The violence  is not just confined to law enforcement officers struggling to contain an outbreak of multiple homicides but also extends to local residents around the Monroeville Mall area – less than 5 minutes drive from the hotel where we are staying.

In one further, disturbing development – unconfirmed reports suggest that the assailants are organised,   not confined to particular ethnic, religious or economic groups  and attacking in large groups without the use of hand-held weapons. Reports of cannibalism have been officially discounted by State Officials and Local Law Enforcement Authorities.

Fire crews have also being attacked by large groups of assailants when attempting to answer 911 calls as small fires spread in the vicinity and medical crews hampered when attempting recover the bodies of the injured or deceased. We have no confirmed numbers as yet to the number of injuries or deaths caused so far, but the numbers appear to be in their hundreds. National Guard units have been mobilised and as we understand that all weekend leave has been cancelled.

We were hoping to bring you the latest pictures from the Niagara Falls region including Pookaverse’s visit to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, NY – where Buffalo chicken wings (including close-ups) were invented.

Today’s journey down the I-90 Westbound with Lake Erie on our right was less eventful (apart from the pinching each other to make sure that we’re not dreaming) as was the journey down the I-79 towards Pittsburgh. We really hoped that our stay in Monroeville would be uneventful.

Pookaverse has felt compelled to visit the Andy Warhol Museum in Downtown Pittsburgh followed by a visit to Primanti Bros as featured on ‘Man vs Food’. However, due to the nature of these reports we will diverting our journey to the Mall in an attempt to investigate these incidents at approximately 16:00 EST, 21:00 GMT.

If these reports do indeed prove to be speculative, tomorrow we will bring you those images. And if we leave this place for the Wright Bros  National Park in Dayton, OH then we hope to file further reports along the way.

It’s probably nothing.  I hope you have had a great day and our tucked in for beddy-bo’s. Keep the comments coming and God watch over America tonight.

God Bless you too George. You really started something. Didn’t he sis?


One Response to “From your correspondent, Monroeville, PA. We are getting unconfirmed reports…”

  1. Rach Says:

    He sure did Bro!!! And long may it carry on – So the natives are gettin bitey EH?
    I recommend that you and Ali arm yourselves with a 44magnum each, plus assorted long-handled screwdrivers to get em in the eye. Block the exits with trucks and go on a shooting spree to clear the mall – oh and make sure that one of assailants ends up in the fountain so that you can watch him flailing around just for giggles 🙂
    Beware of gangs of motorcycle hippies.
    I’m sending a helicopter with a Supershootey Rock Hard Black Guy to the mall roof as we speak
    Stay vigilant!

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